Just watched the movie! PHENOMENAL! Definitely going into the top 5 category! Not only did it keep my attention the entire time, but it was ENTIRELY accurate! I've never read the book, but feel that if the movie is close, then point WELL MADE!
At this point, my husband is refusing to see the movie. He was in a "long term" relationship when the book came out...after she read the book, instead of seeing that ALL of the signs were pointing to him not being that into her, she tried a different approach. That approaches was to berate him...for not being into her. For doing the complete opposite of what the book says a guy does when he's into you! Um HELLO! That's the WHOLE point! But I'm sure he can be pursuaded to watch it...after all, I've NO doubt he's into me... But seriously, it was enlightening remembering the days before I tuned in to what was going on around me. Staring at the cell phone, hoping he would call....taking the phone to the bathroom and everywhere else, lest you miss his call and he loses all interest! And I think of the time I've lost and wondered HOW I couldn't wake up and see it! But then a good point was brought up in the movie...A lot of the reason, we, as women, DON'T see all the signs is because it's been beaten into us since we were children..."boys are mean BECAUSE they like you"..."he hasn't asked you out BECAUSE he's intimidated by you", etc. And all of the other excuses we tell our girlfriends in these situations, probably because we've been there before and it doesn't make us feel like we are the ones failing at relationships if they're to blame! As women, we are always finding excuses and reasons to coddle our girlfriends about why he hasn't called. But the fact of the matter is, as friends, the greatest thing we could do is to just tell our girlfriends up front. "slap" some sense into them. Yeah they'll be irritated and NOT like what we have to say, but at least then we're not contributing to this behaviour that, if any other woman other than a friend were to do, we would make fun of.
On the other hand, women aren't totally to blame. I really believe it's MADE in us to love and be loved. To get married, settle down, and live that "happily ever after". And that's what we should strive for, but in the mean time, while doing this, we MUST protect our hearts! And instead of protecting our hearts we're putting the priority on FINDING that love. We were made to have sensitive hearts that are to be tended and nurtured, and we must NOT put it out there for everyone that comes along. If we can first, and foremost learn to protect our hearts, then I think seeing through the guys that aren't right for us will come a bit more easily. That we'll be able to see the signs of him not being into us simply because we know that we, that our hearts, deserve better!
And the last mistake I think we make (well not last but for the sake of this argument) :), which I touched on briefly in my last blog, is that when it doesn't work out, in our minds, the guy is to blame. What a jerk, he didn't call and so on. But this, by no means indicates that these are bad guys! My husband is amazing and wonderful and perfect...but for me...not for everyone else out there. So in essence, while there are definitely bad guys out there, the guy who "isn't that into us", isn't always the bad guy. He is likely, in fact, in search of the same thing that we are...but it just wasn't with us! But men are simple creatures, so if we allow them to use us, that's likely what they'll do. Let's be honest, you have that good guy friend who is always there when you need a shoulder to cry on, when you don't want to be alone, when you just need some cuddle time, so we use this to our advantage...how is this different? Guys go as far in the way they treat us as we allow them to go! So stand up for yourself girls! Recognize the simple signs and protect your heart!
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I like the way you ended this. It's not that he's a bad guy - he just doesn't like you "that way" (haha, remember that?). And not wanting to marry you does not immediately qualify him as a bad guy.
ReplyDeleteThis movie was really good, and had a lot of good points. It was really disturbing, though, watching this guy in the process of cheating, and the girl who was seducing him. That part scares me. I also didn't feel like there was enough "this was a horrible thing to do" in the movie. They just kind of left it up in the air. Maybe that was just me, though.